Hi. This is my first entry here. I am a 19 year old female, I live in Sweden. I have ADD, GAD, OCD and Aspergers Syndrome.
My girlfriend, whom I've been with for about three years, started developing an eating disorder in april this year. One day she just stopped eating unhealthy food and started to avoid everything with too much calories or fat. She buys all light-products and always reads on the packages to count calories. Now she eats salad everyday, and oatmeal, but not much more than that. I didn't see the ED at first, I just thought she wanted to get more healthy. She had a good and healthy body before, but now she has lost about 15kg and almost every bone is visible. When I hug her it feels like I'm hugging a very old person, not a 21 year old girl. Everytime I mention it in some way, she quickly comes up with an excuse to talk about something else. I think all her friends know now, since it's kind of hard not to see what she has become. I dont know how to help her. Even though I do not have any kind of ED, her behaviour triggers me a lot, and I feel worthless for eating when she is not. Or even if she is, if we both are, I know that she will leave afterwards, and come back with some excuse to cover the fact that she just threw up all that she ate. I've tried many times to purge, using my fingers, but I can't. Now, when I see her and the way she looks at food with a disgusted face, I feel useless and either cut myself, bruise myself or take benzodiazepines. Sometimes both. I feel really lost, and I know that I can't support her fully when I too have problems. She thinks that she is fat, and she can't see how her bones poke out of her. She won't listen when I or anyone else try to talk to her. I don't know how to deal with this. I'm usually very bad at knowing what to say and when to say it, and how to act.
I feel so helpless.